Ellen-isms

I still need to post something about Christmas, for posterity's sake, but I uploaded 417 pictures last night and, well, it's gonna take a while. We'll let Ellen kick off 2014 here: 

Ellen: "I'm freezing!"
Erik: Well, put your socks on!
Ellen: "I had to take them off to let my fee chill out, like, in the Himalayas, dude."

"You never know what Ellen Lund does"
Me: That's a fact
"You mean a THEORY?"

Ellen LOVES gum and steals it out of my purse constantly. I found some cinnamon and mint Trident and asked her which kind she wanted ... "Well, I guess mint. It makes my teeth feel relaxed."

The other night I was reading Ellen the shortest book I could find in her room before bed (late to bed, stalling, blah blah blah) - and it was this cute little board book about Romeo and Juliet. It's a counting book and all lovey dovey. I guess I was feeling snarky, so I blurted out at the end that they both died by poisoning. WHOOPS. I should've known better because then she asked 1 million questions about how and why and where. I tried to satisfy her questions while still getting her in bed with the lights out (yes, I fully realize the "short book" backfired and it was all my fault). She whined for Erik to come up later and I thought she might be worried or afraid about them dying, but instead: "Dad - you have to tell mom she can't tell me things like that right before bed! I just have to read the grown up Romeo and Juliet. NOW!" (and then I kind of high-fived myself for encouraging a love of literature). I went up to appease her, told her the highlights I remembered and turned it into a lesson on letting people marry who they love. Also - tried my best to encourage her to just talk about it with her family because YOU KNOW she will be at school telling all of her friends about poisoning people who fall in love.

After Ellen opened 21 birthday presents from her party, I took her to Target the following day to exchange a duplicate and pick something else out. I have also been searching for a little CD player for her to do audiobooks in her room at quiet time, which is surprisingly hard to find. I know it's because people don't use CDs anymore, but still - shouldn't be such a challenge! We had seen a Hello Kitty one at Target weeks before and I told he we would hold off, then it was on sale and I just decided to buy it while we were there, because I knew we wouldn't get back this week. Just what she needs right now - more gifts! Anyway, she was using it last night, listening to books in her room before dinner, and she came stomping down the stairs, hands on hips, with this fake scowl-y look and grumbled, "I'M SO DISAPPOINTED!"
Me: "What - is it broken?!?"
Ellen: "No. There is NEWS on that thing."
And then I explained what a radio was ...

Ellen is finally old enough this year to have a family outing to see the Nutcracker. I had asked her a few weeks ago if she wanted to see some videos on YouTube and she told me an emphatic NO - that she wanted to be surprised. A few nights before I brought it up again ...
Me: "Hey - you know the Nutcracker is this Sunday, right?"
Ellen: Yeah.
Me: "Do you know what it is? Do you want to know what it's about?"
Ellen: No. I don't know.
Me: "It's a ballet - did you know that?"
Ellen: So - what do they do? Hop around on a bunch of peanuts and walnuts?

Ellen got her first little Legos for her birthday (moms of Lego-loving boys, I salute you) and I sat with her in her room for about 40 minutes after dinner putting them together. On the (hard wood) floor. Erik came up later to get her ready for bed and I was complaining that it was hard for me to get up - my back has been killing me from carrying a 20 pound Georgia in her 12 pound car seat - and he offered to help me up. Ellen was putting on her PJs, stopped dead in her tracks, and started laughing uncontrollably: "HAAAAA! He is helping you up! Like an old lady! You should see your face, Mom!"
We all had a good laugh.
Then.
The next night she and Erik had a re-hash of the events and now my nickname around here is "Old Lady". Funny. (NOT FUNNY)

Ellen was feeling under the weather and it was time for lunch ... I ran through the list of every possible thing we had to eat in the house and apparently none of it sounded good. She paused for about 30 seconds ....
"Do we have any bacon?"

On NYE (in post-sickness haze) we cozied up for Whole Foods take-out and early bedtimes. I got Ellen a can of Izzy to celebrate with ...

E: Mom - did you have that drink when you were little?

Me: nope - it didn't exist!

E: Well, that's lucky. Because when you burp and sniff at the same time it makes your nose feel funny.

Ellen and Erik were cuddling on the couch watching Scooby Doo. Ellen said, "Oooo, Dad, your hands are so warm. I could just sleep with them all night." (sweet)
And then she continued ... "I will just chop them off, use bandaids for the bleeding parts, and lay with them in my bed all night." (whackadoodle)

Betsy got Ellen bunches of Roald Dahl books for Christmas and I was probably even more excited about it than Ellen. We cuddled up in my bed to read Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and Erik joined us when we were almost finished. He suggested we all just sleep there all night ...
Me: "No, thanks. Ellen kicks people in the head while she sleeps."
Ellen: "No, I don't. But - I will kick you in the head right now."
And ... off to bed ...